


How Did I End up Here

by Nikkiwritesthings



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Abduction, Blood and Injury, F/M, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Kissing, Murder, Sex, Vaginal Sex, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-27
Updated: 2019-12-27
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:48:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21979825
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nikkiwritesthings/pseuds/Nikkiwritesthings
Summary: You were visiting your best friend Spencer Reid's mom whil he was in jail for a crime he didn't commit and you and Diana are abducted by who you think is Diana's caretaker. But turns out to be in cahoots with Cat. An unsub who felt slighted by Spencer Reid and the BAU team.After a daring rescue by the BAU team, you go home with Spencer and Diana and your relationship with Spencer evolves.
Relationships: Spencer Reid/Reader
Comments: 5
Kudos: 127
Collections: Dr. Reid/ MGG





	How Did I End up Here

‘How did I end up here?’

You had gone to see Spencer’s mom, Diana, like you’d been doing every day since Spencer got thrown in jail which you were sad to say was more often than when he had first moved her to Virginia and he was gone on a case. Her original caretaker, Cassie, had been gone for a couple of weeks now, Diana said she fired her, however, you weren’t entirely sure that’s how it went down... But she’d had a sub ever since so maybe she actually did. The new girl seemed really nice, super sweet, always kind to both you and JJ and best of all she was amazingly patient with Diana… Until, suddenly, she wasn’t. Something seemed off when she told Diana they were going to see Spencer. You had JUST gotten the call from JJ that she was going to the jail to bring him home. That was another reason you’d come over today, you knew he’d be home in at least a day and you wanted to see your friend so badly it hurt.

You hadn’t seen him since the first few weeks after he’d gotten thrown in jail, his team had spent a lot of time during visiting hours trying to get him out so you had done your best to stay out of the way ( at least that’s what you told yourself since Spencer had refused to see you ever since you’d seen him beaten up). You’d taken to writing him letters and trying to keep his spirits up as best you could even though he wouldn’t tell you any of what was going on, just book quotes, letting you know that he missed you, and thanking you for keeping an eye on his mom. However, his team (Mostly JJ and Penelope) had been very good at keeping you vaguely updated on the things he wouldn’t say, like how he wasn’t doing very well but they were doing the best they could, Penelope was the only one who told you that things were bad and that he was actually in a lot of danger … However, recently Penelope wouldn’t even tell you anything, the last you’d heard he was getting some flack from one of the gangs… That’s when the only thing any of them would say was “We are close to getting him out, just be patient.” It was infuriating but you trusted them so you did your best to let it go and be patient. Even though in your head you were a nervous wreck.

Anyway, after the new girl told Diana about going to see Spencer, Diana stood and reached out to you and said “Let’s go see our boy.” 

“They haven’t left the jail yet, they’re still cutting through the red tap to actually get him out and I think going there might slow down the process.” You said, warily eyeing the new girl.

“I got a call, he’s on his way to the BAU and asking for his mom, so, I’m going to take her.” She spat impatiently, taking Diana’s arm.

“Y/n, just come with us, Spencer will want to see you too.” Diana reached for you again.

“Fine, you can come too, but I’m driving.” The new girl, Carol, rolled her eyes and turned to leave while you grabbed your purse and took Diana’s hand.

The car ride was quiet but nothing seemed overtly wrong or out of the ordinary… Until she took a wrong turn.

“The BAU is the other way, I can give you directions if you need me to.” You offered gently, trying to believe that she just made a wrong turn but feeling it in your gut that something was wrong.

Carol didn’t say anything, she just continued driving.

“You both might survive this if you shut up and do what I tell you. Understand? I need his mom alive, but I don’t need you.” She threatened at the next stop light.

“What?” You genuinely thought you’d heard her wrong

“I said, you both might survive this if you shut the fuck up and do what I tell you. I need his mom alive, but I don’t need you.” She hissed, leaning closer to you.

The only answer you could give was a tight nod, gone mute from surprise.

‘What the fuck just happened?’

Over all, even though you came to the realization that you were being abducted but a tiny woman, she was true to her word, as long as you stayed quiet, everything carried on like this was just a normal car ride.

Then she got out of town...

At the first empty gas station she found, Carol dragged Diana out of the car, tossed her in the trunk, then tied her up and gagged her You tried to stop her, you tried tell her that tying up a helpless old lady was unnecessary and thinking that you could definitely over power this tiny woman, but instead, the trunk was slammed shut on Diana’s terrified face and you got elbowed in the cheek bone so hard you were nearly hit the floor and needed to be lead back to the passenger seat where Carol bound your hands and buckled you in.

“You’re lucky no one was here... If you do that again, or make a scene of any kind, I will kill her… and you.” She sneered at you, throwing a coat over your bound hands.

You couldn’t answer, your ears were still ringing from the blow to the head so you just sat there.

You weren’t sure how long you were in the car for, you weren’t paying attention, you were mostly just focused on trying to cooperate and keep you and Diana alive.

Then the Amber Alert went out…

The poor guy that pulled up to the gas station was just trying to get gas and he died because of it. The sound of the bullet going off forcing you to clamp your hands over your mouth to hide the scream that ripped itself from your throat.

Things happened fast for a minute, you were yanked out of the car and ordered to help lay Diana in the back seat of an SUV, then you were shoved into the front seat before Carol disappeared again.

When the new girl was doing something outside the car that you couldn’t see, you didn’t even notice she had come back to the car until she shoved her phone in your face.

“Proof of life, go.” She ordered.

“Spence.” You breathed.

“Mom?” You heard Spencer’s voice through the phone.

“No, but good guess.” You said, voice as full as you could make it and trying not to cry.

“Y/n! What are you doing there? Where is my mom?” He started to panic.

“Your mom is fine Spence, she’s just in the back seat. I’m so sorry Sp-.” You started to sob but got punched in the face as the phone was pulled away, though you could still hear Spencer yelling.

“There you go. They’re both alive, I only really need one but I’ll let you pick.” She taunted.

“Keep them both alive Lindsey, he’s even more likely to play by the rules if we have both of them.” A woman’s voice came through the phone as Carol, no, Lindsey, got all the way out of the car again.

“Gotta go.” Lindsey cut off her phone call and fired 2 shots into the gas she’d poured all over the ground before she got into the new SUV she’d chosen from a now dead guy and drove off as the gas station exploded.

You weren’t entirely sure how long you’d been in the car this time, but eventually, she drove up to a house where a large, hulk of a man came out the front door toward the car.

“If you run, or draw any attention to yourself I will--”

“Kill her and me… yeah yeah. Haven’t you gotten tired of threatening me yet? You know I’m not going to let you hurt Diana if I can help it so your threats are moot… Or is it just that you like the sound of your own voice?” You interrupted her, earning a fist to the face which split your cheek.

“Get. Out. Of. The. Car.” Lindsey ordered, smacking your head against the window before opening her door.

“What the hell Lindsey, Cat said just the mother. Who the fuck is the other one?” The huge man asked, fishing Diana out of the backseat and throwing her over his shoulder.

“According to Diana, this is his best friend. She was there and I had to get the old lady into the car without making a scene. Then Cat called and I heard how panicked he got and I figured extra leverage was a good idea.” She explained.

“Cat told her to keep me alive.” You ratter her out.

‘What is wrong with me? How about I NOT egg on the psycho.’

The large man laughed but Lindsey shoved you so hard you almost fell flat on your face.

Once inside, Lindsey tied your feet and arms to a large wooden chair and gagged you.

“Since you can’t seem to keep your damn mouth shut, I’ll help you.” She sneered, patting your bruised cheek harder than necessary.

You lost some time while you were sitting in the chair, you were in the same room as Lindsey, your chair was facing Diana who was on the bed. You could hear Lindsey doing things you couldn’t see behind you. After he tied Diana to the bed, the giant man had come out and said something you didn’t catch before he got shot and laid on the floor in front of you as he died. 

You stared at the man’s dead body for quite some time, you almost didn’t notice when the door opened and a bunch of people in FBI vests came bursting in, you were so relieved to see those vests that you burst into tears.

Emily made eye contact with you and nodded before she came around to stand in front of the crazy woman behind you while others from the BAU team stayed in your line of site, giving you more comfort than you thought they would.

You were too busy crying to really catch what Emily and Lindsey were talking about, something about a phone call

“You bitch, you’re pregnant?” and “Kill them!” as well as Spencer’s voice was all you really caught of the whole conversation, you’d calmed down a little but your ears were still ringing from being hit more than a couple times.

You didn’t register who finally freed you from the ropes but you threw your arms around the solid FBI agent and sobbed as they lead you to the safety of the big black SUV and away from the house, someone else had freed Diana and they weren’t far being you, the poor thing wasn’t entirely sure what had just happened. With the door to the SUV shut and locked you held Diana’s hand all the way back to the BAU.

‘To Spencer’

In the window in the BAU hall where you stood, waiting for Spener to get back, you could see just how bad the left side of your face really looked, your cheek was purple, blue, and red along with the vertical cut along your cheekbone and you had another bruise forming on your forehead on the right side where your head had been smacked against the window so you took your hair out of the pony tail holder and allowed your hair to fall in front of your face to hide as much of the damage as you could, being really meticulous about hair placement, knowing that he would notice right away if even one part of a bruise was showing.

You’d been so focused on hiding your wounds and not letting Spencer see your wounds that you didn’t hear the elevator ding or even notice that he was standing in front of you.

“Y/n?” Spencer whispered sadly, brushing your hair out of your face to get your attention.

Well that was a whole lotta useless, obviously he would see something wrong.

“It looks worse than it is.” You tried to downplay your pain, leaning into his touch.

Spencer rested his hand around your ear, careful of your wounds and you felt tears start to fall.

“I’m so sorry Spencer, I should have done more to protect your mom. I should have…” You started crying, dissolving into full blown sobbing when he wrapped you in a hug you didn’t know you needed.

“I was so scared.” You cried against Spencer’s collarbone, clutching the fabric at his back like a lifeline.

“Shhh, I know, you’re safe now. I’m here, they are gone.” Spencer whispered, hugging you tightly as you tried to calm down.

“Do you want to stay with me and mom tonight?” He asked when you pulled back.

You nodded, afraid that you would cry if you tried to speak again. Spencer kissed the top of your head before taking his mom’s hand and leading her toward the car with you at his other side.

“I was scared too.” Spencer whispered after he got his mom in the car. “I was scared enough when I just thought it was my mom but when I heard you I wanted to kill her with my bare hands.”

“Spencer.” Was the only thing you could say. You leaned into him and wrapped your arms around his waist, hugging him tightly for a moment.

“Let’s go home.” He kissed the top of your head and opened the passenger door for you.

The ride to Spencer’s was quiet. Diana had fallen asleep in the backseat (where she had insisted she wanted to be when you had originally headed that way) and you were dozing off in the passenger seat.

Unfortunately, before sleep could really claim you, The big dude’s dead face popped into your head and you jolted awake.

Spencer reached out a hand to you which you took, your eyes wild with fear as you tried to calm your breathing.

“You’re ok, it’s over, we’re almost home.” He assured you, rubbing his thumb along your knuckles.

“You act like you’ve done this before.” You joked. Squeezing his hand and kissing his knuckles before releasing him, knowing that he wasn’t a huge fan of hand touching.

“Once or twice.” He smiled, squeezing your hand in return.

Spencer’s smile had always been enough to make you feel like everything was going to be ok. You’d met Spencer when you were in college. He was speaking in one of your psych classes and you had heard some of your classmates talking about the “nerd who shouldn't be talking to classes” and you couldn’t help but feel protective of the extremely smart and adorable man who couldn’t have been more than a few years older than you and already speaking ro classes in a professional capacity so you’d gone to talk to him. You’d seen him grow in his role at the BAU and seen him come out of his shell a little (ok a lot) and you cared about him more than you cared about most people. He was your best friend, even if you sometimes had confusing feelings for him. 

You must have actually fallen asleep thinking about when you’d first met because you woke up to Spencer gently squeezing your arm.

“Are we here?” You asked sleepily, rubbing your eyes an flinching when you caught your bruise. 

“Yeah, help me wake mom up so we can get her upstairs?” He smiled fondly at you, gesturing to his mom who was sawing logs in the backseat like it was her job. 

After a lot of prompting (and some reminding her who you were) you and Spencer finally got Diana upstairs.

You helped Diana wash off the day with a nice shower, helped her get dry and into pajamas. Then after a really tight hug and an I love you that you didn’t expect, you left her with Spencer so he could have a moment alone with his mother and get her into bed. Luckily, she seemed pretty calm about the whole thing. 

‘Probably because she forgot’ 

You sat on the couch by yourself, your ears picking up on ever the slightest noise. Every shift in the walls from the wind, every time the tree outside would tap the window, every clack from the building being old, you could even hear Spencer’s neighbor walking around his apartment. 

Apparently, you were too busy listening to the neighbor walking around to notice Spencer walking out of his mom’s room. Because you didn’t even notice him until you felt a hand on your shoulder.

You freaked out, you jumped off the couch and backed away until your back hit the wall, eyes frantic, looking all over for the threat. Poor Spencer looked heartbroken for you when you finally noticed that is was him. 

“It’s just me.” He whispered gently, his hands held up so you could see them and taking a tentative step toward you. 

You broke again, closing the distance between you and burying your face in Spencer’s neck as he wrapped himself around you.

“I’m so sorry Spence. I…” You started.

“Shh, you have nothing to be sorry for.” Spencer assured you, running his hand over your hair.

“Yes I do, first, I let that psycho abduct your mom, and now I keep freaking out like it was worse than it was and instead of focusing on yourself you’re having to take care of me.” You explained, still clinging to him.

“Y/n, you were abducted, someone died in front of you, you have every right to be upset and you tried to protect my mom. She told me that’s how you got these. If you hadn’t been there, things probably would have been a lot worse for her.” He said, pulling back a little and running his thumb down the bruises that were forming on your face.

“Sit with me.” Spencer Requested, sitting on the couch and opening his arm to you.

“When was the last time we just hung out on the couch?” You asked, curling into the warmth of Spencer’s side.

“Before I went to Mexico.” He whispered.

Spencer hadn’t talked about what happened in Mexico when you visited him in the prison, in fact, he’d told you he didn’t remember anything, you’d done your best to respect him and not ask about it but from what JJ was willingly tell you, it was bad.

“I don’t know what happened over there or in jail and you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, I get it, I’m just... I’m really glad you’re home and not in there anymore. Your mom was so worried about you when you didn’t come home, Cassie would call me and give your mom the phone. She’d be panicking that you weren’t picking up your phone, JJ and I decided that we would just tell her you were on some great adventure or something and that seemed to calm her down a little. Poor Cassie, she was such a trooper. I started coming over more to relieve JJ some days, I’d bring dinner and your mom and I would watch TV and she’d tell me about how you were when you were a kid and in school, she walked me through your photo albums and told me about all of the pictures a few times.” you told him, watching him smile.

“I’m sorry if I made you worry. That wasn’t my intention.” Spencer apologized, looking ashamed.

“Spence…” You started.

“No, I need.. I need to talk about this… Please.” He interrupted you, taking his arm from around you and bringing one leg onto the couch so he could face you.

“Ok.” You answered, scooting to face him too.

“I went to Mexico to get some medication for my mom that isn’t legal in the US and while I was there I got drugged with a hallucinogenic drug similar to the scopolamine that Scratch uses by Lindsey, we saved her a few years ago when she and her friend were kidnapped. She ended up working with one of the assassins we put away last year and she um…” Spence trailed off.

“Spence, you can gloss if you need to. We’ve been friends for long enough I should be able to get the gist of what you’re saying if it’s too painful.” You offered him an out.

“Thank you.” He smiled before continuing, staring at the deep cut on his right hand instead of looking at you.

“Lindsey used the drugs to make me see her as Maeve and Cat, the assassin she was working with, said that we…But I don’t remember... Anyway, Lindsey killed the woman I was meeting to get the medicine, she then framed me for it, then lead me on a high speed chase in a car with drugs in the trunk which is what got me arrested in the first place.” Spencer stopped, giving you some time to process what he’d just said.

He didn’t have to go into detail, you put the ‘she convinced me she was the woman I fell madly in love with and I was told that she took advantage of that to get me to have sex with her’

You could kill her if she wasn’t already in jail, but you had to remind yourself that this was about Spencer and not you, so you forcibly shoved those angry feelings aside.

“Spence, I’m so sorry. I… That’s not fair and I don’t mean the framing you for murder part…” You reached for his arm.

Spencer covered your hand with his before he took your hand from his arm and turned it over in his palm then continued his story, opting to trace the lines of your palm instead of looking at your face.

“At first, I couldn’t remember what happened or even that I was in Mexico. I just remembered getting pulled out of a car and arrested for possession near the border. I didn’t remember hallucinating Maeve until Cat… Until Cat said she was pregnant with my baby and told me how she managed it when we hadn’t…Luckily that turned out ot belong to the guard she had manipulated into being with her…” He trailed off again.

‘There’s that angry feeling again’

“Spence, can I hug you?” You asked, not wanting to push him when he was like this.

He nodded, his bottom lip wobbling a little. You shifted forward onto your knee and wrapped your arms around him and Spencer did the same and buried his head in your neck where you could feel the tears he was trying to hide.

The two of you sat like that for a while, neither of you trying to move or say anything.

“Hey, you can tell me more later if you need a break. I could use a shower anyway.” You offered, really feeling the need to shower but not wanting to leave Spencer’s side if he didn’t want you to.

“Do you need me to run to your apartment to grab you clothes?” He asked.

“That’s not necessary, I’ve got an overnight bag here, I kept it here after the night your mom wanted to marathon Dr. Who until 2 am and I was too tired to drive the 5 minutes to my place. I’ll have everything I need in there if you don’t mind me borrowing your bathroom.” You smiled, sitting back on the couch.

“Go ahead, I’ll hop in there after you.” He answered,wiping the tears off his face.

20 minutes later you had removed the evidence of your ordeal, aside from the bruises, and you were sitting on the couch in your pajamas braiding your hair while you waited for Spencer to finish his shower.

You let your mind wander a little bit. Thinking about how Spencer must have felt after being told he had slept with a murderer and was made to think it was the woman he loved, but instead he had been possibly violated in the worst way by the same woman who kidnapped you. It made you feel protective and helpless at the same time, you weren’t there to stop it and you couldn’t get to her to harm her in any way.

“Y/n?” Spencer’s voice drew you from your thoughts.

“Yeah?” You turned around.

Spencer was in sweat pants and Dr. Who t-shirt looking awkward and looking everywhere but you.

“This is going to sound really weird but um… I really don’t want to sleep alone so would you..” He trailed off to collecting himself.

“ Studies show that sharing a bed with someone you trust significantly reduces the chance of night terrors and when they do occur, comfort can be almost immediate which lowers heart rate and helps lower anxiety.” He rambled, still not looking at you.

“Spencer Reid are you asking me to sleep with you?” You joked, trying to draw out a chuckle and ease his embarrassment.

“Only if you want to.” He smiled, catching your joke.

“Ever the romantic. I would love to sleep with you. A reduced chance of night terrors sounds like a great idea,” You chuckled lightly, getting up from the couch and following Spencer into his room.

Spencer’s shoulders were so tight, you were surprised he could move.

“Spence, you know this isn’t weird right? You look really nervous, I promise I’m not going to bite you.” You told him, gently turning him to face you.

“I know, it’s just… It’s been a really long time since I shared a bed with someone and I don’t know how being in prison is going to affect my sleep pattern and I just… I don’t want to be alone.” Spencer admitted. 

“You can’t logic away being scared Spence, you went through a lot so it is entirely understandable that you wouldn’t feel right, in fact I would be surprised if you weren’t. You’ll just make your head hurt if you try to understand the way you’re feeling… Honestly, I don’t want to be alone either.” You told him.

“Thank you.” Spencer nodded, kissing your head before heading for the far side of the bed and crawling under the covers, lifting the blankets on the other side for you.

You curled up on your side facing your best friend and reached out to move his long, brown curls out of his face which only worked because his hair was still wet.

“ I was terrified every night in that prison. I didn’t know if I was going to die or not. I barely slept the entire time I was in there… I couldn’t… I couldn’t control… Anything… I’ve never felt so helpless in my life.” Spencer whispered, catching your hand with his.

“I heard a few things that were happening in there… But it wasn’t until they stopped telling me what was going on that I realized it had to be really bad. ” You told him.

“The team kept you updated?” Spencer asked, surprised.

“Vaguely, they told me you were alive but you were in danger…After I fought a won to have the first visit, I had a bad feeling about the whole situation… Then Penelope freaked out after she saw you but Emily assured me that you were going to be ok so I tried to let it go… Then after that one time I saw you with those bruises on your face and you refused to see me after that… I’m sorry I cried, I tried so hard to be strong but I couldn’t hide it… then the only update I would get was ‘he’s alive’, then ‘we’re close’ and then nothing… It doesn’t take a profiler to know that you were in trouble and that it was bad…” You told him.

“I’m so sorry I shut you out. Truth be told, I was embarrassed… Not by you crying but by the fact that I was in there in the first place and I wasn’t strong enough to be ok...” He admitted.

“I know you were and I understand that. I just… I just wish you’d said something in the letters you sent. Given me a reason or something. I was so worried and I know me wanting to see you was entirely for selfish reasons but damn it I… I just missed you so much Spence.” You rambled, tears forming in your eyes.

“If you’d seen me, you would have worried more, trust me. I thought that if you couldn’t see me and I didn’t tell you what was going on, you wouldn’t worry quite as much and… you wouldn’t think less of me” He told you.

“Think less of you? Spencer, I could NEVER think less of you.” You protested.

“You will when I tell you what I did.” He muttered.

“Try me.”

“One of the gangs tried to force me to sneak a shipment of drugs into the prison. I said no and as punishment they killed another inmate, the only one I had befriended, in front of me. I still said no but… Then they… Then they threatened you. They went so far as to show me a photo as proof that they had people on the outside that could get to you. So I agreed… But when the shipment came in I… I couldn’t do it… I added a mixture of laundry detergent and ammonia which hurt a lot of people and I… I didn’t feel bad about it… It actually felt good to take a little bit of power back.” He told you, a look of utter shame on his face.

“Is that all?” You asked, guiding his eyes back to yours.

“Well I made it look like another inmate stabbed me in the arm with a toothbrush but that’s the worst of it.” He mumbled so quietly you almost didn’t hear him.

‘Might have to talk about the whole stabbing thing later’

“Thank you, Spence.” You smiled, leaning forward and kissing his nose.

“For what?” He asked, looking utterly befuddled.

“For protecting me.” You said simply.

“You wanna?” He asked shyly, opening up his arm to you.

“ Of course.” You smiled, shimmying into his space and tucking yourself under his chin.

“You know I’ll always protect you to the best of my ability right? I might not be a great fighter but I will do everything in my power to make sure you are safe.” He vowed, kissing the top of your head.

“I know Spence, I trust you, with everything, always.” You told him, snuggling closer to him.

“Y/n?” Spencer let your name hang in the air after a while.

“Yeah?” You answered, craning your neck to get a good look at him. You could see how hard his pulse was beating via the vein in his neck that always stood out when he was stressed. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, nothing, I just um… What would you say if I told you… Actually, nevermind.” He chickened out of whatever he wanted to say. 

“No way! You can’t just drop something like that and then chicken out. You know that’s gonna make me crazy!” You protested, sitting up.

“Can we just forget I said anything.” Spencer pleaded, rolling onto his back and raking his fingers through his hair.

“No way! Hey, look at me. You know you can tell me ANYTHING right? I will never judge you. I swear, Spencer.” You implored him, worried about what could be so bad that he would want to keep it from you.

“Fuck... Ok.” He said, scrubbing his hand down his face and sitting up.

‘Did he just say fuck?’

“Studies show that affection helps reduce the effects of stress and releases serotonin which helps with feelings of happiness and feeling safe and… Damn it… I would like to… If you’re ok with it… Can I kiss you?” He finally said, resolutely looking down and not at you.

‘Is he in my head?’

“Why?” You asked dumbly before realizing how that might be received and continuing quickly “ I’m mean, yeah, sure, I’m down, but why?”

Spencer looked like a weight had been weight had been lifted off of his shoulders.

“Well, I trust you… and I… I don’t really know how to explain it but I really want to kiss you right now.” He struggled, pink cheeks on full display with how close you were.

“Whaaaat? The ever eloquent Dr. Spencer Reid doesn’t know how to explain something?” You feigned shock, trying to ease his discomfort which seemed to work because he smiled.

“Tell you what, I’m going to point you in the direction I think you’re trying to go. We’ve both had a very stressful day and you have had a stressful couple months and the adrenaline is pushing you to seek out physical affection as a release valve for all the stress.” You explained to him in your best ‘Dr. Reid voice’.

“That is exactly what it is.” He laughed.

“Well, I’ve got 2 questions for you. Does knowing that change your mind at all?, and if it doesn’t, how much will wherever this goes change our relationship as it stands now?” You asked, more than willing to kiss him.

“It does not change my mind at all and I think some things might change, but not for the worse. We can always talk about where to go and how much we want things to change.” He offered, still looking awkward.

“Could we maybe play it by ear? I mean, see where this goes and promise that if one of us ever feels hurt or uncomfortable we won’t bottle it up, we will talk to each other. No matter how awkward we feel and no abandoning each other.” You requested, Now it was your turn to look away. 

“ I can agree to all of that.” Spencer agreed, gently cupping your jaw and guiding you to look at him.

You’d never found Spencer unattractive, quite the opposite actually. You just hadn’t thought to pursue him. The two of you were fast friends when you’d met. You’d originally missed him after he was a guest speaker in your psych class but you’d met later when you bumped into him on the way to your next class, you hadn’t been paying attention and you’d basically run face first into him because he was reading a book and not looking where he was going either. Spencer was on the ‘I’m too smart for my own good’ side of weird while you were on the ‘going to conventions and overly obsessed about fandoms’ side of weird and you guys had bonded over that. You’d dated around a little, he’d dated around a little, then he fell in love with Maeve and you had been genuinely happy for him, no jealousy, no heartache, just happiness that your friend was happy.

However, looking at him now, it was like you were really seeing him. You were really seeing how beautiful his big, brown eyes were, his perfectly curly hair, his incredibly graceful hands, and his goofy smile that could cure cancer… He was attractive.

“I’m going to kiss you now, ok?” He asked, searching your eyes.

“You’re gonna have to do most of the moving here Spence, I think I’m frozen.” You laughed lightly, trying to ease the tension in your body and failing.

You might not have had much luck releasing the tension from your shoulders but Spencer sure did. The moment his lips met yours, you swear your muscles melted for a second.

It was tentative at first, just a gently cling of lips, barely enough to notice but then Spencer’s hand slid from your jaw into your hair as he deepened the kiss. A small sound escaping your throat as you reached for the front of his shirt, scrunching the fabric in your fingers and sighing into the kiss, opening your mouth in an invitation which Spencer accepted and cautiously explored your mouth with his tongue.

Spencer was the one to break the kiss biting his lip and resting his forehead against yours.

“Whoa.” You breathed. Fingers still locked in the front of his t-shirt.

“Yeah.” He agreed shakily.

“I was NOT expecting that.” You smiled, finding his eyes.

“Did you expect me to be a bad kisser? You know I’ve been with people before, right? I’ve never had any complaints.” He called you out, smiling back at you.

“That’s not it at all.” You laughed, breaking away from him and flopping onto your back.

“Then what is it?” He chuckled, leaning back on his elbow.

Your cheeks flamed when you tried to tell him and instead of words coming out of your mouth, you giggled and covered your face with your hands.

“What are you embarrassed about?” Spencer asked, confused.

“Nothing, it’s nothing, don’t worry about it.” You lied through your fingers, keeping your face covered.

“Y/n, it’s obviously something, you’re flushed, your heart is racing, you’re hiding your face, and you won’t look at me. There is obviously something going on.” He told you in true Spencer fashion, pulling one of your hands away from your face.

With your eye uncovered, you could see that Spencer was leaning over you, a kind, worried look on his face.

“Did I do something wrong?” He asked self consciously, a sad look in his eyes.

“What? No! God no!” You exclaimed, removing your other hand from your face. “You didn’t do anything wrong, quite the opposite actually. I just… I didn’t expect… I didn’t expect to be affected like that.” You admitted, covering your face again.

“THAT’S what you’re embarrassed about? That you liked kissing me?” Spencer laughed like it was the funniest thing he’d ever heard.

You peeked through your fingers “Yeah…” 

Spencer erupted into laughter again, kissing your temple “ I liked kissing you too.” He admitted, grinning at you.

“Yeah?” You asked, taking your hands away from your face.

“Yes, I was just prepared to like it I guess. I’m trying to decide if I should be offended by your suprise or not.” He chuckled.

“I didn’t say I didn’t think I would like it. I just wasn’t prepared to want…” You trailed off, unable to find the right word without embarrassing yourself.

“More?” Spencer finished for you because of course he would be able to find the word you couldn’t.

“Exactly, like… I expected to like it because I mean, look at you, and your mouth is...Anyway, I didn’t expect to have to resist the urge to climb into your lap, you know?” You admitted, deciding that you might as well just tell him the truth, but still hiding your face.

“That good, huh?” He laughed. looking pleased with himself.

“You know what, shrink your ego there casanova.” You scolded, pushing at his chest and sitting up again.

“Why resist the urge though?” Spencer asked so quietly you weren’t sure you heard him right.

“What?” You asked, needing to hear it again.

“I asked, why you would resist the urge?” He asked again, this time looking you in the eyes as he asked.

“Spence, you wanted to kiss me, that was as far as the consent went. There is no way in hell I was going to push you, not after what you’ve been through.” You told him, and when he didn’t say anything you continued. “You were drugged, she made you see Maeve and you’re not sure exactly what happened with her and if you had… If you had been in your right mind you would have known it wasn’t her and you’d remember. You’d be surprised what can cause a panic after something like that.” You trailed off near the end.

You felt a kiss on your cheek.

“Thank you.” He Whispered, resting his forehead against your temple for a moment.

“For what? Being a decent human being?” You asked, turning to face him.

“For taking care of me. I would like to kiss you again and this time, you don’t have to restrain yourself if you don’t want to.” Spencer requested.

“You sure?” You asked.

“That I want to kiss you again or that you can climb into my lap if you want?” He smiled a big goofy smile.

“Uhhh, let’s go with both.” You laughed tucking a fly away behind your ear.

“I am very sure, how about you? I won’t be offended if you say no.” Spencer turned serious.

“Yeah, I’m sure.” You smiled, getting your knees under you.

You took initiative this time, gently pulling Spencer to you by his shirt and sealing your lips to his.

A small surprised sound vibrated against your lips as Spencer wrapped the fingers of one hand in your hair, pulling gently which caused you to make your own sound and scoot closer to him.

“Please.” Spencer whimpered against your mouth.

“Please what Doctor Reid?” You teased, pulling back a little and knowing full well what he was asking.

“Y/n, please. I… I want…” He pleaded, cheeks pink and his eyes lust blown as he squeezed the crook of your knee.

“Only because you asked so nicely.” You grinned, coming up further on your knees so you were a little taller than he was.

Spencer helped you the rest of the way, shifting, wrapping his arm around your back and pulling you to straddle his thighs.

“Hi.” You smiled, suddenly bashful with your legs spread over him.

“Hi, need to slow down?” Spencer checked in, tucking your fly aways behind your ear.

“No, you?” You smiled at his thoughtfulness.

“I’m good.” He answered ghosting his fingers over your thighs, leaving goosebumps.

You slid your fingers into his soft curls and tilted his head back so you had access to his entire throat which you took full advantage. You started at the dip of his collarbone, placing a gentle kiss there and noticing Spencer shiver, then you continued you journey, nipping and kissing him from collarbone to jaw and nosing your way up to his ear, enjoying the feeling of his fingers digging into your thighs.

“Set boundaries Spencer.” You advised, nipping at his earlobe.

“Uhhh, well I think we should… Fuck… We should play it by e-ear, I don’t know, Point me in the direction of the boundaries you want please.” He stammered.

“How far do you want to go?” You lead him, nipping his neck again.

“I want...mm… Shit, hold on.” He faltered, waving his hands.

You immediately took your hands from his hair, stopped kissing him and went to get off of him but he stopped you.

“I just need to think and I can’t seem to do that with your mouth on me.” He chuckled, holding you on his lap.

“After all the years we’ve been friends and it took me this long to figure out how to make it so you can’t think.” You joked, settling back further on his thighs to give him space.

“At the risk of sounding like a horny teenager. I want to go as far as you want to. You tell me where you want to stop and that is where it ends, but I’m all in if you are.” He told you.

“I’m all in too Spence, But I need to know that you understand that you can renig on that statement at any time. All you have to do is say stop and no matter what we are doing it all stops, ok?” You tried to make it clear that you weren’t going to push him and that he had an out no matter what.

“I understand, and you can too. If at any time you want to stop, please tell me.” He answered.

“I can do that.” You smiled.

“Good, come here.” Spencer wrapped one arm around you, pulling you closer.

You giggled, shifting your knees close again and putting your arms over his shoulders.

“My turn.” He grinned, sliding one hand up into your hair and pulling your head to one side, exposing your neck to him.

He gave you a similar treatment to what you gave him only he started at your chest just above where your tank top stopped, leaving gentle nips and wet kisses along your collarbone, up the side of your neck and when he reached your jaw he used the hand in your hair to turn your head so he could kiss you.

Spencer was always very subdued, controlled even. But this kiss was hungry, needy, his fingers tightened in your hair as he slid his tongue against yours, his other arm pulling you impossibly closer and causing you to shift against him which in turn drew a gloriously sexy sound from the man beneath you, a rough sound you could almost say was a growl. His hand traveled from your back to the curve of your ass, staying over the fabric of your pajama shorts as he squeezed.

Now it was your turn to make a noise, the feeling of his warm fingers digging into your flesh making you hot all over.

“Can I?” You rested your forehead against his and fiddled with the hem of his shirt.

“Yeah, yeah.” He helped you pull his shirt off. His cheeks pinking up as soon as he was half naked in front of you.

“Still doing ok?” You checked in again, playing with a lock of his hair.

“Yeah, I just haven’t been shirtless in front of someone who isn’t a medical professional in a while.” He told you shyly.

“Wanna level the playing field?” You smiled, pulling your shirt up a little.

“I would like that very much.” Spencer answered, reaching forward to help you rid yourself of your shirt.

You nodded, pulling your shirt over your head and tossing it over the side of the bed.

“You are stunning.” He said reverently, trailing his fingers up and down your sides and thighs, not touching you freshly exposed breasts.

“I could say the same to you. Seriously Spence, you are a handsome man.” You added, trying really hard to stay confident but definitely failing. 

That voice in most women’s heads that tells them they aren’t good enough, aren’t thin enough that their breasts aren’t perky enough or big enough, you know, covering all the bases to make you miserable. Your arms moved of their own accord to cover your exposed skin. 

You never considered yourself thin, your stomach squished and your body jiggled when you moved. It was one of the reasons you’d never thought to pursue Spencer in the first place, you’d never thought you were good enough for him or that there was any way he could possibly find you attractive, yet here you were, toppless and straddling his lap, minorly afraid you were going to crush him.

“Where did you go?” Spencer asked gently, taking your chin in his fingers and guiding your eyes to his.

“The place all girls go when they are naked in front of a guy they like.” You answered, there was no point in trying to lie, Spencer could always read you, that would probably be doubly true since you were so close to him.

“You like me? Sorry, not the point, what can I do? I’m not going to lie to you here, it is taking a lot of self control to look at your face and not your chest. You are beyond stunning but I understand that saying it isn’t always enough so how can I show you?” He asked, gently bringing your hands away from your body and putting them back on his shoulders.

“How are you so dang sweet even with a pair of boobs in your face?” You laugh, feeling a little more at ease.

“A LOT of self self control developed over the years… Y/n for what it’s worth, I like you too.” He chuckled, getting serious at the end.

“You can touch them you know. They are out for you.” You smiled.

Spencer’s hands tightened on your hips briefly before he brought one hand up to cup your breast. you shifted against him, this time on purpose, pushing your breast further into his hand and sliding your fingers into his hair and tilting his head so you could kiss him as he gently rolled your nipple between his fingers, plucking at it every so often. Your hips continued to move against him, slowly and experimentally.

You could tell Spencer was losing his mind. His breath was coming in short, desperte bursts accompanied by soft noises that sent heat straight to your groin and his hand that wasn’t occupied with your breast was now locked around your back and his hips were straining forward against your movements.

Not to say that you weren’t going a little crazy too, you felt like you were going to explode if you stayed making out like a couple of teenagers much longer so you decided to do something a little… bold.

You pulled his hands from your body, much to his dismay. That was… until you started kissing your way down his body, you had never seen Spencer squirm like he was now. Every kiss had his fingers tightening in his hair and the sheets at his side. He was trying so hard to keep his hips on the bed, you could feel the strain in his stomach every time his hips moved under you.

“Breathe Spence, relax, I can stop if you want.” you offered, looking up at him.

“P-please don’t stop, dear god, please don’t stop.” He breathed desperately, bringing one hand up to your cheek and running his thumb over your bottom lip which you promptly took into your mouth. Spencer bit his bottom lip as you released his thumb from your mouth and continued kissing down his stomach to his pajama pants.

“You good?” You asked, curling the tips of your fingers into his waistband.

“Yeah… Fuck… Yeah.” He answered, lifting his hips to help you pull his pants and boxers down his legs. 

“Sweet fucking Jesus Spence! Where have you been hiding this thing!” You exclaimed, dropping his clothes over the side of the bed.

Spencer let out a hearty laugh that was abruptly cut off when you took him in your hand and kissed his shaft. Another ‘fuck’ falling from his perfect lips.

“You know, Doctor Reid, you’ve had a particularly dirty mouth tonight. I didn’t even know those words had a place in your extensive vocabulary.” You teased, running your tongue over his length from base to tip.

“There are a few things in my vocabulary that you don’t know about.” He grinned, running his fingers through your hair.

“Oh yeah? Planning on proving it?” You mumbled against him.

“Th-that’s the plan if you’re game.” He stammered shakily.

You didn’t answer, you just took him into your mouth, giggling around him when you heard him groan and his head thunk against the wall.

You couldn’t take all of him into your mouth so you had to compensate with your hand on what you couldn’t get into your mouth to avoid choking yourself. Though he didn’t seem to mind, he had one hand in his hair, pulling at it, his eyes were screwed shut and his mouth was alternating between hanging open and closed around his bottom lip. Watching him lose the careful control he always had was something you could do forever, he was truly beautiful.

“Sh-shit Y/n, you keep that up and this will be over way faster than either of us want it to be.” He groaned, gently pulling you off of him.

“Yes, sir, where do you want me?” You asked, sitting back on your knees and wiping the saliva off of your lip and chin.

“Definitely up here.” He answered, getting up onto his knees and wrapping his arm around your waist.

You were too busy getting lost in the kiss Spencer had graced you with to notice that he had moved you so your head was on the pillow and he was between your legs hovering over you.

“How are you doing?” He asked, rubbing his nose against yours.

“ Beyond good, you?” You giggled running your fingers through his now dry hair.

“Also good.” He smiled, kissing your cheek, then your neck, your collar bone, both breasts, and so on down your body.

“Can I?” Spencer echoed your question from earlier, kissing your stomach and curling his fingers into your waistband. 

“Yeah, please.” You lifted your hips to make it easier for him.

Completely bare before him you expected to feel self conscious but the way Spencer was looking at you made you feel powerful. His gaze was hungry but he still looked up to you for permission which you happily gave.

His approach was as almost subtle, he settled onto his stomach and kissed each of your thighs, running his hands up the outside of your thighs, then the inside and pushing them apart to give himself more room.

“You are so beautiful.” He whispered, running his thumbs through your folds.

“F-flattery will get you nowhere.” you breathed.

“No? Well maybe this will.” Spencer ran his tongue over your sensitive clit, somehow figuring out the exact amount of pressure to put on you to make your head swim without overloading you.

He gently licked at you, holding your thighs apart whenever you involuntarily tried to close them. He started running one finger through your folds, teasing your entrance but waiting like he was asking permission.

“Please Spence.” You begged, tangling your fingers into his hair and pulling just enough to elicit an appreciative sound from him.

Spencer slid one long, graceful finger inside you, stroking your walls and driving you crazy.

Your hips moved against his mouth as he brought you closer to climax, giving you more pressure and moved his finger just minutely faster.

“S-Spence, I n-need…” You couldn’t finish your sentence because you forgot what words were.

Lucky for you Spencer was apparently psychic and he knew what you needed, he added a second finger and brought his other arm up to pin your hips to the bed as he sped up his assault on your clit.

You had to cover your mouth to keep yourself quiet, you started to lose sense and Spencer knew it. He was holding you down and pushing you further and further until you came completely undone, dragging in heaving breaths between your fingers and moving your hips as much as you could in Spencer’s grip as he helped you ride out your high.

“F-fuck Spence, you weren’t kidding when you said you’d prove it.” You commented, raking your fingers through your hair as you came down.

“I’ve told you a few times that I’m a genius, you should really start believing me by now.” He chuckled,wiping his mouth with the back of his hand and crawling up your body to hover over you.

“I didn’t realize that genius would translate into ‘master at giving head’” You giggled, leaning in to kiss him.

“Cunnilingus is actually a learned skill that requires paying attention to bodily cues such as the rate of breathing, movement of the hips and legs, retraction of the clitoral hood, and if you’re lucky, your partner will tell you what they need from you.” He explained.

“Only you could make touching a vagina a science thing.” You laughed.

“Most things are scientific in nature if you look at them.” He told you, a big smile on his face.

“Sometimes I think you’re too smart for your own good.” You chuckled..

“I’ve heard that a few times.” Spencer smiled down at you.

“Condom?” You asked asking both if that’s what he wanted and where there might be one.

“Yeah, yep, I’ll go get one.” Spencer stammered a little, getting up and heading to his dresser.

“You still wanna do this?” Spencer checked in again, turning around with a shiny foil packet in his hand.

“Definitely, you?” You sat up so you could fully look at him.

“Absolutely.” He answered.

Spencer crawled back into the bed, shuffling you back so you were laying on the pillow and he was sitting back on his knees between your legs.

“You still good, Spence?” You asked, leaning up on your elbow and reaching for him when you saw him hesitate.

“Yeah I’m uh.. I’m just a little nervous.” He admitted, blushing up to his ears.

“Hey, I am too, but Spence, I trust you implicitly, I know that no matter what happens with us after this that you won’t abandon me. Even if things get too weird for us to be a close as we are now, I know you’ll let me know what is going on because you promised me you would.” You told him.

“I trust you too. I’m just… What if I d-...” He trailed off, embarrassment clear on his face.

“Spence, come on, you can tell me anything.” You told him gently, cupping his cheek.

“What if it’s not… Good… What if.. What if I’M not good…” He said quietly, finally looking you in the eyes but only briefly.

“Spence.” You breathed, bringing his eyes to yours to make sure he would really get what you were about to say. “You’ve been with people before and not had any complaints, remember? You also said that cunnilingus was just paying attention, well, so is this, all sex is just paying attention to your partner to find out what they like. Sex is supposed to be fun, get out of your head and just enjoy it, just feel. Besides, if what you just did to me is any indication, I don’t think I’m going to be disappointed.” You reminded him.

“I did say that, didn’t I. You promise you’ll tell me what you need?” He smiled.

“I swear I will let you know exactly what I need if you aren’t already doing it..” You crossed your heart.

Spencer leaned in to you, kissing you and gently pushing you with his body until you were laying down again. He pulled back from you, one hand pressing into the bed next to your head as he used his teeth to rip open the condom wrapper, you kept eye contact as you heard the condom unrolling down his length.

‘Did it just get really hot in here?’

You could barely contain yourself, the anticipation of what was about to happen heating you up until you could barely breathe.

“Please, Spence.” You begged, on the brink of going crazy. 

Spencer took pity on you, taking himself in his hand, watching as he ran himself through your folds to collect your wetness before pausing at your entrance and holding your gaze as he eased himself inside you coming to a stop when his hips met yours and his eyes fluttered shut.

“F-fuck Spence.” You moaned, threading your fingers through his hair and securing his forehead to yours.

Spencer let out a shaky breath before capturing your lips, a small strained sound escaping his throat when you wiggled your hips against him.

“Please Spence, move.” You whispered against his lips.

Spencer moved slowly at first, like he wanted to memorise exactly how it felt to be inside you. He pulled almost all the way out of you so slowly that you could actually track where his head was against your walls.

“Spence, fuck, Spence, I need… You’re teasing me so bad. I need more.” You pleaded, kissing his cheek and wiggling against him.

“As you wish.” He chuckled against your temple, then he began moving in earnest, still slowly but forming a rhythm that left you breathless.

You couldn’t understand why he had been so worried, he had managed to find the perfect rhythm and angle that had his every movement hitting all the best places inside you at the perfect frequency, his tongue leaving trails of fire everywhere it touched on your neck and collarbone and his fingers were leaving goosebumps where they dug into the back of your thigh which he was holding to keep his angle, you were so lost in the feeling of his touch you almost didn’t register that he was talking.

“Shhh… Y/n, you’re going to wake the neighbors and my mom.” Spencer chuckled against your temple smoothing down some fly aways that had snuck out of your braids and stilling his movements.

“Oh my god, I completely forgot about your mom.” You laughed covering your mouth. “I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be, if it wasn’t the middle of the night and my mom wasn’t sleeping down the hall I’d see just how loud I could get you.” He chuckled, kissing you and flinching only a little when your laugh made your walls tighten around him.

“I’ll be a lot quieter if you keep kissing me.” You smiled, nuzzling his nose

“I can do that.” He grinned, hooking your legs together around his back, bringing your arms above your head and threading his fingers through yours before he started moving again.

You hooked your ankles behind Spencer’s back and squeezed his hands as he built up his rhythm again, the angle changed but just as good as the last, his kiss absorbing every noise you made and between the feeling of his pelvis rubbing against you and the soft noises that kept escaping his throat you thought you might go crazy.

“F-fuck Spence, I’m so close, I need to be able to touch you, please.” you gasped against his lips.

He didn’t say anything or even stop his movements, he just “mhmed” against your mouth and released your hands, planting one of his hands on the bed next to your head and pulling back to look at you, his eyes dark with lust and just the slightest bit frantic as he ran his free hand down in between your bodies and applied gentle pressure to your clit.

“Oh god Spence. Don’t stop!” You wrapped your arms around him and buried your face in his neck to keep quiet.

“Please, let me see your face, I want to see you come.” He begged, nosing along your temple. 

You allowed your head to fall back against the pillow and threaded the fingers of one hand through Spencer’s hair and the other gripped his wrist that rested next to your head.

“H-harder Spence.” You gasped, holding his gaze.

He obliged, shifting his knees closer to your body to give him better leverage to snap his hips forward a little harder, he lowered himself to his elbow so that more of his body was touching yours and he kissed you hard and desperate before pulling back a little to watch you.

You began to get lost in his touch once more, releasing his wrist and bringing that hand up to hold on to the headboard. You must have gotten loud again because Spencer brought his hand up and gently placed it over your mouth --which was way hotter than it should have been--. He didn’t slow down though, he continued to snap his hips forward, his face blissful and strained like he was holding back his orgasm.

Luckily, he didn’t have to hold back long, you arched up into him and your head pushed back into the pillow as your orgasm washed over you. Every thought you could have had was gone, all that existed was the feeling between your legs and Spencer’s hand over your mouth as he helped you ride out your orgasm before allowing himself to follow you over the edge. He made a choked sound as he swelled inside you and buried his face in your neck to quiet his desperate moans as his hand slid off of your mouth.

The two of you stayed like that for a little while, Spencer supporting most of his weight on his elbows as he rested his forehead against your collarbone and you with one arm around his shoulders and the other stroking his hair a blissful moment after an awful day.

He finally lifted his head after a couple minutes with a big, goofy smile on his face and just looked at you.

“What?” You smiled, tucking his hair behind his ear.

“I know this is going to sound cliche and it is partly because of elevated levels of oxytocin but I was just struck but how beautiful you are, especially like this.” He whispered, like he was afraid the moment would shatter if he was too loud.

You couldn’t think of anything to say to follow that so you just kissed him and nuzzled his nose.

“I should probably um…” Spencer blushed, pulling out of you and rolling out of bed to dispose of the condom and grabbing his pajamas.

You decided to get your pajamas too so you got up when he did and retrieved your pajamas where they were scattered around the bed and pulled them on.

As you were straightening back out you felt Spencer’s arms come around you and his chin rest against your shoulder.

“Hi.” He whispered, kissing your cheek.

“Hi.” You laughed softly. Threading your fingers through his.

“We should actually get some sleep now, it’s late.” Spencer said against your neck.

“In a minute” You protested, turning around in his arms and draping your arms over his shoulders.

“Where do we go from here?” You asked shyly.

“I’d say we should go to sleep.” He joked, pulling you a little closer.

“That’s not what I m-” You started

“I know what you meant.” He smiled gently “How about we go for coffee tomorrow? Or maybe dinner?” 

“Like a date?” You asked, feeling a blush color your cheeks.

“Yes, like a date.” Spencer smiled.

“I’d love to go on a date with you, Spence.” You laughed, placing a relieved kiss on his lips.

That’s what Spencer’s phone went off and he went to grab it.

“What’s up Garcia?” “What?!” “I’m on my way.” You could only hear his side of the conversation.

“What’s going on? Spence, what happened?” You asked, watching him head to his closet and start grabbing clothes.

“The team was in a bad accident, Most of them are in the hospital, Steven is dead, Emily is missing. I-I have to go to the hospital.” He told you while changing his clothes.

“Oh my god, ok, yeah, go! I’ll call the night nurse and meet you at the hospital. Do you know how bad everyone is injured?” You grabbed his suit jacket off the desk chair.

“Not really, Tara is in surgery but I don’t know about everyone else. I’m sorry, I know I shouldn’t be leaving now, not when we are talking about this but I…”

“Don’t apologize Spence, your family needs you, I get it. I’ll be there as soon as the night nurse gets here. Besides, we can talk about this another time.” You interrupted him, holding out his jacket for him.

“Thank you, you’re amazing, the night nurse’s phone number is on the fridge.” He kissed you, shoving his shoes on and heading for the door.

“I’ll be there soon, I love you.” You said before you could stop the words from coming out of your mouth.

It wasn’t like you didn’t mean it, You’d been saying it for years, ever since he’d gotten shot in the neck and almost died you’d taken to telling him you loved him every time he left for a case but it was always in the platonic way and this time felt… Different, like maybe you shouldn’t have said it and a look of horror crossed your face when you realized what you said and that Spencer was still standing with his hand on the door knob and not leaving.

“Can we just pretend that I didn’t say that.” You pleaded, both hoping he would turn around and that he would pretend you hadn’t said anything and he’d leave all at the same time.

He ended up turning around a look on his face that you couldn’t read, he strode over to you, his long legs closing the distance in a matter of seconds, he took your face in his hands and placed a sound kiss on your lips. 

“We will discuss this later when we have more time, we’ve been saying ‘I love you’ for years and I’ve always meant it, and it, it feels a little different now but… Me too.” He kissed you before heading out the door.

You stood frozen for a moment after the door closed before you moved to call the night nurse.

‘How did I end up here?’


End file.
